Rasta diary – love – entry #1


love – falling in love can result in pain….is it really love or just an obsession

 

 

Falling in love can result in pain. Is it really worth it. Ofcourse it is. Falling in love is something we do without giving it much thoght. Much thought of aftermath, or what should happen should a love relationship not work out how we had hoped. As a rastafarian woman I know that love of God must come first for any other kind of love to flurish and be healthy.

my horoscope chart and obsessions

according to my horoscope chart I am prone to obsessions, not addictions but obsessions, there is a difference. I do obsess about some things. I am not proud….but I thought and still do think every body is like this given the right event, object, or person.

Right now I am confused and obsessing over someone I should not be but cant help…I want to break it….I know I will but it will require some time. I am obsessed by this person for the following reasons

  • he represents something I said I would never get close to ever again
  • he reminds me of something I only dreamed would ever exist
  • he is as close to Jah (God) as any earthly being could be
  • he is rastafarian man

Yes this is a recipe for obsession. This also makes perfect sense that I am confused. The confusion comes from within. Eventually I will write about my ex boyfriend, for the sake of this entry, he was white. It very hard for me to admit that, because I have decided never to be intimate with someone who wasnt black and jamaican and rasta, ever again. So when I know there is someone out there who is so close to God, but is not black or jamaican….I get freaked out and intrigued. I want to know more. How did this all come to be.

Sexual Perversion and Rastafarian strength

 

God does not go where he is not wanted, that is why so many dont know him, or dont know the real benifit of knowing him and being close to him. As a rastafarian woman I know that Jah gives me the strenthg to get throuh these things. But what if its fun for me…what if I want to play on the other side…but not really.What if I kind of play on the other side and no body gets hurt. It seems like that should be ok. Its not ok to obsess about anything. I know as a rasta I dont have to. I think I just want to. Is it the devil? No only if my intentions are evil. They are not. I am curious, purplexed and intrigued by this man…this man I know resides on the earth.

Running away from short rastafarian men who remind me of Dennis Brown my biggest obsession

 

There was a guy I saw in kensington market one day. He had dreadlocks down to his ankle and he was a short guy, he said hi to me…I ran the other way. I seem to have a tendancy when faced with something I really want, to back away from it. But if something is different and there is an element of mystery or uncertainty then I want it. This is silly…I am not 5 years old.

I have been in the presence of other rastafarians probably only 5 times in my life. That sucks. I need more of that, this is why I plan to move to jamaica. I will feel at peace sorrounded by my own people and by many other rastafarian people. Many here in canada dont understand my beliefs. This is ok….but I want to be with those who know all about jah just like I do. Sometimes I wonder if my work takes me from my lord and that is how obsessions are able to creep into my life. I know how to stand firm in Jah. Be strong, and keep going on. God wants his messengers to do their work of delivering his message. This is what I am here to do.

god cleared the way for me to do his work

I dont really have a message in this diary entry. I love God I know he loves me….if you really knew my situation…you would know that God cleared the way for me. So I must give thanks and praise….he loves me so much….he just wants me to be close to him and to do his work.

my apologies for spelling mistakes

I am sorry for all the spelling mistakes on this website. Last night I wrote an article on finding love. Its based on a conversation I had with my mother about a woman who was attractive but has not had many long term relationships. I thought about putting it on to my zodiac characteristics website. But then decided no I will put it here. I am also sorry that the book “destiny of a black woman” is not up yet. please know I create this website in my spare time. I know it doesnt seem that way. But thats how it is. I have other thnings Im working on and most of the time I work from morning until night. The internet is my world.

my verdict on obsessions

So what is my verdict on the whole obessesions thing. Obsessions are ok, as long as you are aware that you are obsessing and as long as nobody including your self is getting hurt. Life is full of things and people that we will be drawn to for various reasons. The most important thing to focus on in life is the almighty Jah. I love you.

Big up to Sennid, hail up Jah, respect!

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3 thoughts on “Rasta diary – love – entry #1”

  1. I love this page. I am two looking for a true rastafarian man. One that holds Jah as close to his heart as I do. My only porblem is that I do not know any other rastasfarians in my area. But I also have decided not tob e intimate with another man unless he is rastafarian.

  2. Hi there, i found this blog on accident (i was just readin on breakups and relationships) well my boyfriend is a rastafarian, but im not.., i am very grateful to have met him, but things arent goin so well lately.. I love him very much but sometimes i wonder if i deserve him, specially if im not a rasta. Well thats kinda the long story short.
    Just wanted to say i liked ur entries 🙂

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