How to date a jamaican man: advice for non jamaican women

Jamaican men culture and family

Jamaican men…his culture and family is number one to him. It is important to show respect for all things related to his culture and Jamaica, especially his family. He may do some things that to you don’t seem necessary. Like putting a lot of lotion all over his body, or talking loudly with friends when they are having a good time, or playing reggae music really loud in the car while he drives. It’s not just your Jamaican man who does these things, it the majority of the people of Jamaica. In Jamaica your family is everything. They support family members 100% in any and all things. So, sometimes to others it may appear that we do too much for a family member, but this is what we as Jamaicans are used to. My straight advice to you, dating a Jamaican man, “Keep you opinions too your self” just be a good listener, allow time to smooth out any situations pertaining to his family.

Be sure to check out my new book “How to Date a Jamaican Man”

tell him when he needs some hygiene grooming

As black people, we tend to have a very low threshold of when we sweat, and  when that sweat starts to “stink!” The upside to this is “the darker the berry, the sweeter the juice!” and you know what I am talking about ladies. Personally I adore the smell of a sweaty black Jamaican man, but I know not everybody does. It is important if you are dating a Jamaican man, to be honest and tell him “honey you need a shower!” In Jamaican culture, honesty is soooooo important, and it is expected. Especially regarding issues of hygiene. Our mindset on bad breath, body odor, or food stuck in between the teeth etc is…its better somebody you know telling you, rather than somebody you don’t know, having to tell you. That makes sense! Cause if someone you don’t know has to tell you have food stuck in between your teeth, then the embarrassment level is very high. So, always tell your Jamaican man, if he needs hygiene or grooming, then give him a kiss, for a job well done.

 know how to cook Jamaican food, to keep him strong

If you plan to be in a long-term relationship with a Jamaican man, it is wise to learn how to cook Jamaican food. Why? Because to Jamaicans food is how we “get strong”, and rightfully so. But we know, being raised by a Jamaican mother, That only certain “yard food” can make us feel strong, and nourish our  body, for optimal health. If you are not Jamaican and can cook Jamaican food, you will score brownie points from all his family members. I don’t care if you have to buy a book to learn how, but just do it. I have a recipe on this website for “Ackee and Saltfish” if you want to check it out. Besides if you can cook our home dishes, this will be less reason for him to call his mom, and to go over to her house for dinner, I just tell you this in case you want to see less of her….lol

give your Caribbean stud his freedom and personal space

Jamaican men need lots of freedom and space. Even when you are in the same apartment and house together. This is our culture, we spend much time with friends and family away from our partners.

getting your Jamaican boyfriend to do what you want

For a woman who is not Jamaican, sometimes dating a Jamaican man can be a challenge. If he is doing something you don’t like, here is how to handle the situation

1) Tell him you don’t like it, and how it makes you feel. Be honest about your feelings, (sad, lonely, unattractive, like crying etc) Don’t let this result in  a long discussion you are just informing him.

2) If he does the same thing a second time. Tell “I don’t like that!” Tell him why, in a short sentence. (It makes me feel sad) but, this time tell him what you will do the next time he does the same action.

3) If he does the same thing a 3rd time, you must follow through on what you said you would do, if he did it again. This action must cause him some pause, and cause him to reconsider what he is doing to you. It must be drastic! and swift!

be your self don’t try to “act black”

Black people in general don’t appreciate it when a woman who is not black tries to act black. Here is something you should know. If your man wanted a black woman, he would get himself a black woman. He wants you, so be yourself and don’t try to act black.

be very clean, this is  important in Jamaican culture

 

There is a lot of emphasis in Jamaican culture on cleanliness. We also believe that as a woman, you have extra responsibility to make sure your “crevices” are clean and fresh. So be sure to keep your body clean, and smelling fresh, many Jamaican men will appreciate it.  Check out these cool places to buy Jamaican clothing and accessories online.

how to get your Jamaican man to marry you

To Jamaican people being able to trust you is really important. Never repeat anything he shared with you intimately, neither back to him in the heat of the moment or to friends or family. Your affairs are your affairs, keep his secrets a secret.

Always keep the house clean. Show him that you know how to hold down the fort. If he is with you and you are not Jamaican, but can still keep house like a Jamaican woman, you score points big time. Make sure thing that shouldnt be on the floor are not, and always make sure the dishes are done, and oh yeah, keeping the bath tub clean is really important in Jamaican culture.

Cook Jamaican food! As stated earlier this is really important to do and do well, I recommend buying a Jamaican cook book.

Never cheat on him! This is also very important! Jamaican women tend to have too much class, or non at all. You don’t want to mimic the behavior of the ones that have non at all. For the traditional self-respecting Jamaican woman, sleeping around, or “free for all fornication” is a no-no. So be sure if you did, or you do cheat on him, DON’T LET HIM KNOW. That is if you expect to marry this guy.

Last but not least, shower daily. Even if you are staying in the house all day. This is so important to us. We Jamaicans put a huge emphasis on personal hygiene. You must wash daily. We believe (as Jamaicans) that the anatomy of a woman, means she must take special care to be and stay clean, especially between the crevices. So take head shower daily and wash those crevices with particular attention. New dating site…. http://www.jamaicanmenwhitewomen.com check it out…its new!!!!

My new e-book is now on amazon.com “How to Date a Jamaican Man!”

Find out…

The Jamaican male mind on women
Recipes to keep your Jamaican man Strong
What to expect in your Role as Wifey
How to handle a Cheating Jamaican Man
How to Bring your Jamaican Man to America
10 Rules for Dating a Jamaican man
3 Things a Jamaican man must have
The Truth about the Rastafari Jamaican Man

bonus chapters
Sex with a Jamaican man for the first time, what to expect
How to meet the Jamaican man of your dreams

https://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Jamaican-men-white-women-dating/217494088409285

 

156 thoughts on “How to date a jamaican man: advice for non jamaican women

  1. I think your article was well said but im not a jamaican woman and i’ve been with a jamaican man for 1 yr and a half i have two kids with someone else.My yard man is too much of a hassle that i am now into females his sex is like a mood thing,We sex like 3 – 5 times a month,mind u Im 23 he is 27.I think I m gonna throw in the towel I ve done all thats on your list and im exhausted,this man will make me old before my time.Im guyanese dugla.I think they all have wandering eyes and once u meet like 34 ur old to them so Why would I cry over spilt milk?

    • There are times in a mans life when he is in a relationship and is not honest with the woman that he is with. Its hard for us women because we will do almost anything for our man and the relationship. Not every man is the same, and certainly not every Jamaican man is the same. If you have given it all you got, then yes throw in the towel honey, and leave your self open for someone who is going to love you and give you the honesty that you need.
      You are a woman, and just based on that alone you are special.
      Much love and Respect to you my Sistren.

  2. I have been dating this Jamaican man for a year now..He is 31 an I am 23. In the begin he was not truthful about some of the women friends in his life…so of course they caused problems…I stayed with this man giving him my all an holding him down even after all this…he assured me that he loved me and I was his girl and everyone knows that. Even after him telling me that I still couldn’t trust him beacuse he lied to me and I thought it was bull he was telling me…I broke up with him on his birthday morning after he didn’t come home the nite before…its been three months now that we have broken up…I realized that i made a terrible mistake and I love this man…and I want him back…he says there’s no one else but he just want come back…he talks to me on the regular for a few weeks and then I don’t hear from him for another few weeks…He says he with friends…what should I do? I mean I never thought we would be apart this long…

    • Remember what I am about to tell you is simply my opinion, everybody has one. Honey, I think you should be patient, focus on somethings you enjoy doing, and leave your self nice and single. Who knows maybe you will meet a really great guy who wants to scoop you up and make you all his.

      Much love and Respect to you Sistren.

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  3. I have dated a Jamacian man off and on for about 4 years now… We took a long break from one another and found our ways back in April of this year. I have realized that I love him. I want him, and I am totally dedicated to him. Now after he has put in so much work to get me to feel this way he has become distant. I show an overwhelming amount of intrest in his culture and have learned that he likes to be catered to (which I love to do). We seem to enjoy each others company and have mutual friends… He will be ok one day and I dont hear from him the next few. I have set bouderies and take special care not to nag him. I have told him that I will leave him and very simply told him that his actions make me feel unwanted. He immediatley starts to “explain away my fears” and sucks me right back into the same pattern should I be patient or cut my losses and move on?

  4. hey im not jamican but my man is im not too happy due to fact he has so many women apart from his baby mamma he definately didnt get me easy but due to his pesistence i decided to give it a go
    he said he wanted to also try the one woman tin an he wanted to have one woman to love him for him and so i tot okay cuz im a one man woman myself
    but gradually i noticed things changed he was seeing one of his baby mamma who had a miss carriage twice for him fucked his bestfriend she do even respect him
    for me i feel like she wanna competit but as a full time student i really dont have that much valuable time of mine to waste
    but yes i sound confused cuz may be me is
    but here waguan yeah i do love him but i can handle all this women ting hes says he insecure thats why he has all them women but i say its just and excuse for stupid behaviour
    what should i do please shed some light?

    • I believe men do these types of things with women who they know will take it. Honey its time to call it quits. Do you want to be dealing with these same issues 1 year from now or even 10 years from now. If you ask him about it, he will only tell you what you want to hear. Jamaican man are very good at chosing women who will put up with their bull shit. Let it go, get a makeover, and leave your self open for a real man who is going to treat you like they lady you are. There are plenty of men out there who would be willing to be faithful to you. Always remember that. Take it slow get to know the person, and if you see a hint of something that just doesnt feel right, shut it down. You have one life. Like I said, start fresh….let this one go.

      Much love and Respect Sistren, Rastafari.

  5. I think those above who are having negative issues in thier relationship, it has to do with YOUR CHOICES as a woman and YOUR level of tolerance. By simply stating what you have, you recognize that a problem exists for you. And if you can recognize it, I hate to break it to you, but its there. These traits are not specific to Jamaican Men. I myself have a Ras for a boyrfirend, he is not Jamaican, but I can confidently say he expects from me as his girlfriend the same that any PERSON would expect from their partner. Honesty, respect, independence and commitment. And in reality “Honesty” sums up all of the above. While i do agree that things mentioned above may indeed be important to Jamaicans, I also beleive that they SHOULD be important to anyone. In my opinion, the major point to note when dating anyone outside your culture is to be open, respectful and sensitive to thiers. Thats my 5 sense.

    • that is not all jamaican i am jamaican i would not do such things my mother teach me better than that dem bwaan de gi jamaican bad name

  6. None of this is true on how to date a jamacian isn’t correct from the experiences I’ve had. Worked with a guy, he flirted, and we sat in the parking lot of my apartment because niece and nephew was there he asked for “head” on the first date, since he couldn’t come in. The next guy he was a dream well at least I thought. Nice, educated, light complexion, GQ type of guy, and very successful I assume. Talked a sweet something into my ear a basic con for a average looking female to give him the number. After a couple of weeks chatting, emailing, and texting like lovebirds he told me I’ll pick you up at your place for brunch on Sunday after church. Came to my place. And tried to rape me. My advise African/Black American women stay far away from jamacian men.

    Unknown.

    • The portion that I was referring to was to the be humble, be a good listener, and his out time. Sorry wanted clarify that hard to see letter on phone. I was humble because that’s how my mom raised me and on both situations they were men of authority that took authority over me.

      Unknown.

    • This is exactly why I NEVER let a guy know where I live as soon as I meet him! It takes a couple of months at least b4 I allow a guy to pick me up at my building. Think about it ladies; guys always know too much about us & we know too ltitle when we meet & get to know them!

  7. hello my names Samantha and i have been dating this guy for 3 months and we are so happy together he treats me like a angel better than my ex he was white he seams to be more understanding and we have a lot in common he listens to reggae and so do i because i was brought up with the music i am so happy in my relationship and wouldn’t ask for a better man because i sure no i wouldn’t fined one on this planet .. thank you xx

  8. Sorry ladies, but my experience with Jamaican men is that they will treat a woman like a queen. But you will NOT be the only one. In my situation, it worked out, because I was in a failing relationship and decied to step out. I have enjoyed this man for one year now and he still makes me feel like its our first date everytime I’m with him. Unfortunately, he has many women. He must make us all feel so good, cuz no one is willing to let go. He sexes me like crazy and has no problem licking every “clean” crevice in my body. He loves that I am clean, which i found very bizaaire initially, but now I understand. I have not left my current situation and wouldn’t cuz this guy is not available to me only. He’s too busy having a different lover every other day. I stay cuz I’m addicted to the feeling I get when I’m with him. He’s an awesome lover and I dont want to lose that. So until then, I will continue my twice a week visits to get my fix!

  9. I’ve been dating this Jamaican man for little over a year. We broke for about 4months and now are back together and more happier then I ever dreamed of. He’s a true MAN to me. He opens door cooks for me n helps me clean house. The best man I have ever had in my life. There’s only one hang up he has with me…is that I don’t cook every day. It doesn’t have to be Jamaican food he just expects me to cook EVERY day and when I don’t he gets offended and disappointed with me. The reason I don’t cook every day is because I wrk a lot n when I do cook I always have left overs. He’s not satisfied with that. He still expects me to cook daily. This is our only hang up. I’m even going to buy a Jamaican cook book with easy to make daily meals. Please HELP

    • Yes, there are some Jamaican men who have old fashioned views on the role of the woman and the role of the man. However most know if they want a fresh hot meal every day, they also have the option of making it themselves. Well my dear, you either do what he expects or tell him to do it himself….besides this isnt really that big of an issue thank goodness. This is something the two of you can certainly work out together.

      Love and Unity Sistren. Rastafari.

  10. Ive been with jamican man on and off for 12 years he treats me very well we never even had a argument i feel he is my true soulmate but we live in different states and we talk about marriage all the time and he tells me soon i dont know what to do and sometimes he gets distamt or when im there and we go out he will walk ahead of me do you think hes cheatinb

  11. not all jamicam men are bad or lazy i have been in love withone for 12 years hes has been my best friend for most of it we have a great time together and we always seem to end up together we talk about marriage all the time but we live in different states says:

    Ive been with jamican man on and off for 12 years he treats me very well we never even had a argument i feel he is my true soulmate but we live in different states and we talk about marriage all the time and he tells me soon i dont know what to do and sometimes he gets distamt or when im there and we go out he will walk ahead of me do you think hes cheatinb

    • Just know that this doesnt sound like something that will be long term….dont feel any way….I am in one of those two. For a relationship to survive and flourish, the man must be commited to it, mentally emotionally and physically. If only the woman wants it, it will not survive. Take what you can get, but dont invest your self emotionally.

      Love and Unity, Sistren.

  12. hello,I am dating a Jamican man that has beenin the states for 18ys, hes divorced and his ex cheated on him, I feel so happy wiht him and he treated me like a queena t first,. then things went down hill fast, found comdoms in his car,found him on a dating website and he is so commited to his ex wifes family as it its his own family. he has two kids, I love hime but he acts strange to me. hes no very distant,cold and as if he hates me. i want to marry him please help me

    • It sounds like you must let go of this relationship. This man is sending you a very clear message. I just went through the same thing Sistren. I finally realized, its just not worth it.

      Rastafari, Love and Unity.

  13. I am a black woman 22 years of age and my boyfriend and baby’s father is a 27 year olf jamaican. we’ve been together since fall of 2006 and we’ve had the craziest ups and downs. Our past consist of him never being truful w/ me or telling me half truths. hes never been honest about talking to other women on the down low( even though i have found out), not working, a lack of sex throughout the whole relationship( but when its good its gooooood lol) and him getting mad at me for finding out his dirt. its crazy. I mean i would like to eventually get married seeing as we have a child together, i can see hes a genuine good person, good morals and been together for years but things in our past i can’t get over. plus we have common intrest and mutual friends.
    Mind you i dont want to seem perfect but i cook, clean, take care of the house, take care of his mother and our child and help pay for everything. And i don’t tolerate the bullshit i call him out on everything that i dont feel is right and stand my ground. so i guess my question is should i keep sticking out or should i call it quits?

    • Sounds like you are giving %100 percent and getting back only %2 percent. A relationship is about mutual love, commitment, tust, communication. You are 22years old??? No, you can do better. There are plenty of men out there who are willing to work with you and support you and love you and not cheat on you. You sound like a really good woman. When I am trying to decide whether or not to stay with a man, I ask my self one question. The question is “do I want to be dealing with these same issues, 3 6 or 10 years from now?” The answer is always no. So then I know its time to make a change.

      Respect Sistren, Love and Unity.

      • I’ve been dating a Jamaican for a year and
        A half for the last five months we’ve
        Been apart. At the beginning he treated
        Me special took me out surprised me with
        Gifts in the form of cash, he took me out
        Shopping, cooked for me just spoiled me
        Then my car broke and after several
        Attempts to fix it he gave up and
        Told me he would take me to and from
        Work. Well he did for about a week then he
        Had me and my four year old out in
        The cold at four in the morning riding the
        Bus. I worked 12 hour shifts and seen him
        Only at night. One day I found a text in
        His phone and asked him about it he
        Laughed and said it was a client so I
        Called and she confirmed. A month later
        Same female text him and he text her
        Back saying that I destroyed his life, I
        Went off called her and she told me
        Everything including a couple of
        Lies she throw in there. he told her
        To lie to me the month before, and to
        Top it that was the day I found out I
        Was pregnant. That night we slept in
        Different rooms he talked to her on
        The phone telling her our problems so
        The next day I went to my apartment. He
        Gave me money to abort the baby I instead
        Choose life he was mad and said he was
        Moving back East and I’m on my own I said
        Okay and on New Years he shows up at my
        Door saying sorry and will I marry him I laughed
        And said no thinking he was playing.
        He stayed all day with me and the next
        Then he stared inviting back over to the house
        Then he started being rude not showing up not
        Calling, so I stop calling him then he called me.
        It went on like this till I had the baby his first girl
        He came to the hospital very supportive named
        Her after his deceased mother. When I got
        Out the hospital he came to give me a ride
        To get my medicine and said he wanted to try
        Moving in a house together and even though
        We tried looking for a house before and became
        Stress in the process I told him I would do it
        But I informed him that the money I saved to
        Moved was no longer available because I spent
        It on the baby. He said okay he figured. So
        From that day own we were out house searching
        All day even though I just got out the hospital
        From having a baby. While looking for a house
        He asked if his friend could move in I said NO
        Several times he finally said okay. We find a
        House, I get it in my name he paid and the second
        Day I went to move small items in his friend
        And his friends futon,tv,clothes,and dog, everything
        Was in my living room with his feet kicked up
        And smoking weed. I went off he said his friend
        Wasn’t going anywhere it was hell in that house,
        he hit me For the first time. my car broke he left me in
        The hot house I went through post depression
        He had no respect his thirteen year old son had to nothing
        Around the house but play on the computer
        His friend was rude he took up for his friend it was hell.
        One day he kicked me because I wanted him
        To stop sleeping in the car hiding from the
        Crying baby ad I bust his window out in the car
        He had no respect. He was talking to a young
        Girl he gave his old phone to. I put him and his
        Son out but he came back the next day he called
        My at this time four year old daughter a bitch but
        Apologized to her only to do it again behind my back
        He treated her bad when I went back to work
        I know this because I had a nanny camera. So
        He came to me said he was moving out
        Leaving me to cover the high house note he
        Move didn’t tell me where I found out and
        The girl he would talk to on the phone he gave her
        Was staying with him I went off took our child
        Over there he kept her and eventually brought
        Her back. I moved and now he doesn’t know
        Where I live and after I found out where he
        Lived he moved again and I believe the girl
        Is there. Lately he’s been answering my calls
        A
        Tried to hug me and acting totally different
        When I told him not to have our daughter around that girl
        After she called her raggedy and put her weave
        In her diaper, he said what girl. As if she’s gone.
        He always bring something special clothes money
        Whatever for my now five year old daughter a
        Piece of me think it’s because he feels bad for
        Treating her that way after finding out she has
        ADHD. I think he misses me now and see’s how
        Stupid he’s been that is why he answers, calls
        To get the babyN, tell my 5yo she can come
        With him, try to hug me and holds a conversation
        With me. This man has taking my heart from me.
        I want him back but how do we get passed all
        That’s happened he bust my window out , I bust his
        He bleached my clothes and put flour and water
        All over my floors, I embarrassed him in front
        Of his friends, how can we get pass all that?
        I know he loves me and crazy me still love him.
        What can I say? What can I do? I want him back

        • I am in a rush right now so I didnt get to read the whole story. When I am in a tough relationship, I ask my self if I still want to be going through this shit 2,4 or even 6 years from now. If the answer is no….then I know what to do.

          I hope that helps you.

          Love and Unity, Rastafari.

  14. what if he said to me he owns me i jus met him 2weeks ago?and he is open and honest about another relationship,but yet when i tr come out of this watever you call it he persistant at maken sure i dont follow thru with exiting what sould i do?an whats up with i put my name on you?

  15. Stay away from Jamaican men…I love my bf of 3 yrs but he is sooo not worth the time I put into him. I’m going to let this relationship burn….He has constantly had other women, then gets mad when I find out his dirt. We are both the same age, 35, and I found out that he has been with a 25 year old for four years. He put every last bit of blame on me…. I’ve seen what they can do to women but I gave him a chance.. He is the epitome of every thing I’ve heard about dating a Jamaican man. RUN GIRLS RUUUUN!!

    • Hello,

      I’ve been a relationship for 3yrs and he told me that he been in a relationship for yr with a 25yr old I’m 30yr. My Jamaician man told me he dosen’t date young girls and I’m the youngest for him he is 31yr. I understand where u r coming from when all what he doing we find it t they make it so it go cause he is a man and want to try other pussy I think that is bullshit. I said to him in the starting of the relationship I’m into no games and if he goes out htere have another with me I found out he well see different side of me which now he seeeing and he is saying I making it bad for myself which dose not make and sence what to do?

  16. hi i just read through this…give me some advice…ive been with a jamaican for nearly 7 years now and have a 3 year old child with him…he cheat on me when i pregnant with serveral different women(all of these dirty girls that u meation) and even two of them claim they was pregnant…
    he deniey it and never heard anything from it to this day…he has given me a rough ride of cheating,…jail sentence…deportion..and fighting…he says hes loves me and he clings onto me like glue when he really needs me and when things are going okay in his life he forgets all the good things i do for him and is out all ours of the night with his friends….we are both in our early 20s…do u think he can mauture and get out of these ways eventually or will he be one of them old jamaican men looking young girls when im a getting older!..basically he says he changed and not going to cheat again…do jamaican men change their cheating ways?

    • Anybody can change for the better. However they have to want it. Often when men do these things to their partners, its because they know they can. Hun, please think. If he hasnt changed…what exactly are you waiting for. You can have a better relationship.

      Much love and Respect Sistren, May Jah guide you.

  17. I am 25 l have been seeing this 51yr old jamaican guy off an on for about 5yrs now and wen l met him he told me he living with his kids mother but they are nt together. He is very charmin an a kind gentlman, bt after all this time he is still telling me the same thing an also claiming to be waitin on me even after l had gone into a next relationship for 2 in a half years, an had a child. I believe he wants to be with me bt l dnt believe he does nt have relations with his kids mother. Should l settle down with him?

    • Think about it this way…if you have to question it….there is your answer. I know dealing with men can be complicated and we always want to give them the benifit of the doubt. However if we are busy chasing relationships that just are not up to our standards or questioning the authenticity of what is taking place, how will we know when Mr right finally arrives. Our minds will be too coulded. Take it from someone who has been there.

      Much love and Respect
      Rastafari is the truth every time.

  18. i met a jamaican man 5yrs ago he was married and claimed to be going thru hell and new to usa we became friends then his wife kicked him out and divorced him we became closer and he ask me to marry him ive never dated a foriegner so the first thing i thought and said you want to marry me to stay in usa he assured me they would still send him back because she withdrew her pettition so i said well why get married he said because we love each other i agreed and we married 1 month later they sent him back to jamaica it took 2 and a half years to get him here after being here 1 month he left came back left again the next month in 4 months hes left 4 times now i find out he stayed with the co sponsor 2 weeks not only that but she was pregnant by him twice he never told me i am married to him and i sponsored him to come here what do i do

    • you need to send him back to Jamaica. Contact your local immgration office and let them know the story. There is too many woman going through this abse. stop the madness

  19. i met and fell deeply in love with a beautiful jamaican man…we talked long distances for hours daily…he was sweet, kind, open…we discussed cultural differences, expectations…everything…i felt like i could tell him anything…i was living a dream…then, we got married…everything changed…he has a baby in another state…he went to care for her for a couple of months…he told half truths and i know…but, i dont believe he was cheating…not at that time…he has been screaming at me ever since…like a woman…nagging, screaming…i don’t even know why…it was funny, when he came back from his baby, he called, and was very loving and told me he knows he hurt me and he’ll make it better…then, everything changed…meanness came-again…i try to be calm…but, after being screamed at, i finally hang up the phone…havent heard from him since…i wish i could understand…maybe he has feelings for his baby’s momma…and feels guilty…who knows…but, im devastated…i am going on with my life…forgetting about his false behaviors of love…love doesn’t act like this…i was fooled…fooled good…and he has to live with himself…

    • Congrats on having the strenghth to move on with your life without him, nobody needs that.
      Much luck in finding a peaceful real love with a man who knows him self.

      Love unity and peace
      Rastafari

    • I HAVE DATED THIS JAMAICAN ON AND OFF FOR 3 YEARS….LOVED HIM….THEN THE DAMN! BABY MOMMA CALLS NEVER HAVE I HAD ISSUES WITH THE OTHER TILL I MET HIS ASS…YOU RIGHT WOMEN RUNNNNNNN….. NOW TELL ME WHY HE WANTS ME TO HAVE HIS DAMN BABY!!! WHATS UP WITH THAT???? CHILD SUPPORT WITH THE FIRST BABY MOMMA COMING OUT THE AZZZ…..BEEN WANTN ME TO HAVE HIS CHILD HELP I DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

  20. I’m a 38 year old american woman. I’ve been through so much with men that I’ve decided to avoid relationships, atleast until my 10-yr-old son is in jr. high/highschool. I will not bring men around my children. So anyway, I hadn’t had sex in a year. I met this Jamaican guy, we hung out, and had sex the first night (I needed it)! I was game ’cause I figured he’d be a typical man and not call again and I wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore because I told hiim when I met him that I’m not looking for a man, just some fun, and I don’t want a relationship and no one to answer to. Well…he disregarded all that. When he calls he wants to know: Where I’m at? What I’m doing? Who I’m with it? I must admit, it is flattering but, I must continue to hang out with other men to maintain my Swagga’ or avoid being caught up with this guy. I’ve been honest with him and he won’t hear of easing up. Why didn’t this 29-year old Jamaican just leave it as a one night stand? Why is he so persistent?

      • Jamaican men are nothing but liars I know this because I just recently messed with one I am a African American woman who is 31 and he is 22 years old. He was sexy and had a way with words I met him on a chat and got to know him for awhile and decided to go visit him in Jamaica.Well the sex was great but he would have women calling him the whole time I was there and I wouldn’t understand what he was doing because he was speaking in Patois to them and then he would get off the phone and say she is just a friend well yea right I am not that stupid.He was very lazy and kept talking about me and him starting a business together his broke ass!!! He told me he was in love with me which I didn’t believe so when i left and came home why on facebook a week later it’s a picture of him and his so called friend all hugged up together love my ass so anyway I confronted him about it and he said everything but the truth so I went on facebook and straight blackmailed him let the girl his family and his friends know how he was so anyone who has ever got hurt by jamaican guy there you go I got your revenge on one his name is ***** and he is a sorry excuse for a Jamaican man!!!!!

  21. been involved in a relationship with a rasta man now for 2 years… feeling the need to end communication and cut all relations due to lies directly relating to cheating…. Just recently had a baby together… just before having our baby he confessed about all his doings and wanted to become as one (living together and marriage)… i declined, because i felt totally betrayed, disrespected and hurt… I am a loyal and committed woman… I felt I didnt deserve this type of treatment… I believe a woman should command respect at all times especially if is she is worthy of it… now i just have to deal with my feelings that i still have for him and deal with him as the father of my child and no longer my partner… In light of everything,in the end, if it’s meant to be (if my god says so)— I guess he will respect me.. and if we dont make to that bar– I hope that he will still give me the upmost respect for caring about my self and feelings…

  22. I met a Jamaician that has three children, and we was so Mesmerize, which other, that we go married after 4 month I love you him and he tell me he love me and i feel good but I feel sad to because of his a pass of hurt from women that has cause so much secretive and my in my thoughts drive me crazy at time, I am happy but I am sad too because not sure i made a bad decesion.

  23. I’ve been married for 16+ years to a jamaican man. I’ve read through each of these stories and they bring back so many memories of our past. But I will tell you that a year ago I decided to pickup and move on. I expressed my disappointment in the cheating, lying and disrespect. I was leaving him. I left my 15 yr old son with him and rented a room. I needed my own space to get my head straight. It is this move that made him change. For 15yrs I was a door mat. I allowed the mental abuse. the womanizing and the disrepect. Once he realized that I was finished, he begged for me to return. He would call me and cry. Promising that he would never hurt me again. I can tell you that I went back and have had no issues since. He completely turned a new leaf. Jamaican men will push. but once they get resistance they will come around. I only wished i did this 1 yr into our marriage and saved many years of heartache. I ama stronger woman today because I put my foot down.

  24. I am a 52 americian woman. I traveled to Jamacia and met a 29 jamamican man.We have been talking over the phone and texting for the past two years. No money, sex or gifts have been exchange,just good decent convesation. He is very mature for his age but recently he has asked that I come visit him. he states he is single and he has never ever given me a reason to doubt him. He says he has developed feelings for me.Help. I need advice

  25. Hi. I feel a little silly doing this but I dnt know who else to turn to. I am 22 and he’s 30; I’m proud to say that he is my first rasta man; we’ve been together for less then 5monts and I can’t help to say that I’ve fallen in love w him. He has two lil girls which I’m groing attached to and I’ve met his family and close friends within the first month. He’s a good man and he cares in his own way; I am what u call a housewife: I cook, clean, massage, babysit, spend money on him n the girls w no remorse and I’ve made sure he’s satisfied at 110%. I am also a full time student and a part time worker. Lately tho things been reall off; he started being distant; less txts, less phonecalls. I think communications is the key to a good relationship so I called him over n we both came to the conclusion that it was neither of us faults, that it just sorta happened. So the following day I stoped by his place to c him and the kids; n his 6 yrs old girl shows me naked pics of another women that daddy took pictures of. I laughted it off, then quietly asked him about it. His first reaction was to ground the girls n tell them that he’d change his password; he didn’t try to reassure me about it. When I insisted he said that it was just a fwd and he meant to delete them. Following days same distance; it was his mom bday he didn’t invite me and I actually didn’t hear from him at all. So I took my first fit, we had an argument over txt then I gave him and ultimatum “either we work this out 4 real or I move on” his first reaction is to tell me that he’d bring me my belongings. We spent 3days without talking, I was hurting like a lil child. Finally I asked him over for a chat; and from what I understood from it is that: what he has become is all because of his babymom. The lack of communication, the coldness when there’s a misunderstanding, etc. and
    when I asked him if he cared; he replied” I buy u things dnt I, if I didnt I wld be only taking! U just have to read between the lines.” From
    That point things were back to normal so I thought… It was his oldest daughter bday last we and I went all out w the present and my own presence. I brought my BFF so I wldnt feel alone; his brother was the one to present me as his “gf” when it came to important ppl; and for the rest of the time  he took the time to present My friend all around the room.  My Closest friends that have met him thinks that he’s taking me for granted. He also disrespect me in front of my friends. Ex: he has very sexual comments concerning my friends. N he does this under a matter of jokes. A joke is funny the first time but after 20 times u start to wonder. He’s also been hoping and insisting onto doing a 3some w the BFF I had brought to the party. Anyhow he’s been going out more often, and without me at his side might I add, I’ve been getting less details of his whereabouts. Might i add that he hasn’t touched me in 3weeks!? I spent the night last we; n while on his comp I fell on couple of files. I insist on the word ” fell” cuz they were on his desktop. In this file there are several files named under the origin of the girl; n in them are videos and pictures of sexual acts that he had w these girls including the pics his youngest had showed me. There’s even a file under my origin “African”; pictures he took of me without my knowledge, or when I’m dancing in front of him at parties. Thank God nothing nude…yet! The other files were made before we met, but shld that make me put my guards down, not at all.  I am realising that I don’t have a clue who this man is; I love him and wish to make him mine, and hope one day to marry him. But a woman can only bear so much, especially one that’s already been through so much in the past. I’ve read ur advices and I do all of these things u’ve numbered and much more; I deserve better but it’s so hard to let go… Please help..!

    • You sound like a very down to earth caring kind soul. Do you really want to continue to feel the pain this relationship is causing you….?
      Rastafari, sistren, jah bless.
      I hope you do the right thing for you self, make your heart and mind a priority in your life.

  26. I met a Jamaica man above 9 mons ago, we became good telephone friends and I started helping him out with cash. Finially I help him get his visa and passport he came to the USA stole out of my house, texting another female. When I spoke to the female she said that they was just friends, and they use to be in a relationship but not now. The texts read I love you and doing everything possible to keep us together, I had to be careful because I do not want this woman to put me out of her house? I really helped this man and he really disappointed me. Now he stating he is sorry and want to come back to the USA n marry me like we planned from the begining. But now the trust is gone. I when there a few days ago to Jamaica to keep my Jewerly but the only one that he had was the fake one, the diamond bracket was gone, and now I cannot find a pair of my brand new Jeans. When I was there he give me his phone the whole time to hold, but I felt that there was some kind of trick being played. I brought him a lot of clothes from the USA when I use to travel there, once a month to keep our relationship going. I am the bank but I feel that I am being played after he stole out of my house. Now he want to come back how can I trust him? He is 38 and I am 53 but look 30 I never really liked young man, I gave him a chance. I just dont no what to do Help

    • One thing i learned in my life is…the rules I have and apply to my life….I apply for a reason. Maybe there is a reason you are not into dating a younger man. You sound down to earth and mature. Its really up to you. Is this the type of relationship that suits you at this point in time? If so, continute….If not dont. For some these types of behaviors might be ok, for others its not.

      You must be the one to decide.
      Rastafari lives. Love and be free….Jah Love Sistren.

    • REDFLAGG!!!!! Yes sister, you had all the signs in your face…just a matter of recognizing them or ignoring them…u have the answers within you.

  27. I’m a 45 year old american woman. I met a 43 year old Jamaican men at my job, who is divorce after 15 years of marriage due, to ex… cheating.

    We have been see each other less than a month. We text, talk on the phone all day. He seems to be sweet, kind, open… We discuss our cultural differences expectations… everything… He tell me, what he is looking for in a woman honestly, trust and communication.

    I feel like I could tell him anything… I heard that Jamaican men are great lovers, I hadn’t had sex in eight years. We discuss having sex and what we both like and don’t. When I try to set up a date, place and time to be with him. He put me off, said why rush it and good things come to those who waits. When i asked him should we wait, he said that I don’t see what he does.

    Am I rushing things too fast, should I wait and let him lead the way or am I just fooling myself and he is not interest in me. I don’t understand this Jamaican men.

    Help me. Confused women

    • Sistren, I dont know all the details of the situation…but…it is rare for a man to put off sex with a woman. I am asking my self how often the two of you get together, are you ever alone together….? I would need more information…

      Jah Bless.

    • I have been living with a Jamaican man for 8 months and my advice to you is RRUUUNNN!!!!!!!!!! I am going to keep it REAL He has other women. They are so fake.

      Get a real man, NON-JAMAICAN MAN!!!

      • why would say not jamaican i am jamaican that live in the usa i come here on my own went was 16 teen now i am 24 not all jamaican are like that

  28. We are never alone and have not had sex yet!! I am willing to go a hotel even away for the weekend. I want to have sex, but he dosn’t . So, what wrong with him..?

    • This is bizarre….if I were you I wouldnt hold my breath. Have you ever heard of a man that didnt want to have sex? Me either!

      Join my forum…post a message that you are single and looking, incl your city….see what happens….http://forum.jamaicanrastafarianlove.com

      Love and Unity, Rastafari.
      you might want to try other social networking, I know this will be hard to swallow….take some some time….there are plenty of men around.

  29. There is a jamaican guy that i think has a crush on me but everytime we talk he only wants to talk about sex. At this point i really think that he only wants to fuck me, should i stop talking to him? Im not interested in sex with him yet it has only been a few days besides i feel like im worth waiting for.

    • The same thing has happend to me Sistren…really its up to you. Are you interested in having a sex partner, or a relationship….?
      Much love….
      Give thanks and praise to the Most High, Rastafari

      • Greetings sister,
        I really don’t understand why this is a problem. You should see your body as a temple probably as he does and let him do the honourable thing and marry you. Society has led us to believe that casual sex is okay,but what does The Most High say about this or does it not matter to people anymore? It’s so sad, sisters can’t even see when a man is trying to follow his Lord and be respectful, smh.

    • if he cant wait leave his ass alone as a jamaican dem jamaican you all meeting makeing me feel bad to be from jamaica

    • Dear Our Secret,
      All he talks about is sex?? If u r ok with that (just sex) then by all means, stick around and fuck him. WARNING: dont fool yourself, make sure thats all you REALLY want from him.

  30. well, im ethiopian. and i am dating a jamaican man we’re both 20. and we made it to a year.
    he used to be a thug. he used to smoke a lot of weed and smoke cigarettes and party and sex girls everydayy but when he met me i straight up told him im not up for a pot head or a smoker or a wild party man and that I like gentlemen and he needs to act accordingly. by the end of that month he completely stoppd and even his family all the way in jamaica and some of them here in america told him to never leave me because i make him a better man. i motivated him in school and now he’s in the deans merit list. and he listens to everything i say.
    he always mentioned sex. and i told him i’ll give that to him when I feel like it.
    im not trying to say we’re perfect. though.
    one time me and his cousin went to the club. and we were hanging out. all of the females were jamaican while i was the only ethiopian, he was by my side the whole time and 2 of the girls ( not his cousin) were a little annoyed that he was with me the whole time. so they ran up and grabbed him and dragged him to the dancefloor.
    they were dancing so innappropriately grinding up all over him and he was letting it all happen while i was standing right there. but his cousin was trying to reassure me that this was how jamaicans danced and not to let it get to me. while she was saying this i saw him kiss one the girls neck and thats wen i blew UP.
    he stopped all of a sudden (guess he snapped back to reality) and ran iff in the direction he thought i was in. guess he didnt know i followed them to the dancefloor. but walked off. mind u alot of jamaican men saw this happening ans was tryna holla at me too smh.
    my man raaaan after me all the way to the parking lot and i let him HAVE it. to the point where he was crying. i told him i wasnt riding with him and he begged me, while i was calling a taxi , taxi came and he beged to ride with me and talked but i left.
    the whole month after that he came to my apartment begging me saying sorry bringing gifts everyday.
    and admitted that he cheated 2 other times and said he wanted to go to counseling.
    we went to counseling.
    and to this day. he really changed. he wont even LOOK at a girl walking past him.
    i have the right to check his phone emails anything whenever i want and he has no problem giving me his information.
    he erased his facebook, and tagged. and other internet social sites.
    and he is the first to meet my family. and my family approves.
    he loves me and i llove him.

    ladies. set your standards in what you want.
    and NEVER let a man make you lower them.

    always stand your ground. if they resist , then they aren’t WORTH IT. men are supposed to treat you like a QUEEN. you are never to feel miserable throughout the whole realtionship. love is supposed to be beautiful.
    and if he to tell YOU your beautiful all the time
    thats what my man does :)
    jamaican men are really beautiful. its just theyll push u to see how far they can go with u. dont even lower your standards for a MINUTE with them!

    • From the both of BABES. Maki, You are young and brilliant.
      Women Take Notes.. I dont care what Nationality a man is.
      YOU are the Prize. You must always be firm when it comes to what you will accept and what you will not accept from a man.. Can a cheating man change? If he loves you and you INSIST on it, he can. But if he can not stop then thats what the door is for…. Then give that love to yourself. YOU Deserve it, cause you are the Prize

  31. I have known him for almost 4 years. It was casual for year until I realised I loved him. He is the only man I have ever felt close enough wig to bring to my family and my son aftr 1 year.
    We started planning a future. Then I found a photo of a girl of that looked like him. Finally he said it was a daughter that he made when we started out!!! Modified, tears the lot! Cards on the table and both being honest, there was another the same age! And I knew her!!! Heart wrenching.
    We did counselling together for numerous reasons, surprised because I nevr thought he would.
    At this point he would do anything for me. He came in straight after work, didn’t party because I had no trust.
    My family and him get on well, but I am black British and him Jamaican.
    We planned to have a future and everything feels ruined. Yet I love him as does my son.
    I do believe he wouldn’t do this again in a hurry and I know he loves me.
    He has 3 other children I have always known about, and he does make me feel complete.
    No this is not acceptable what he did and I want to play no part in his offspring made in our time, wrong or right me. No it isn’t their fault but!
    He supported me in times no one did or could since.
    He wants everything with me and I believe him but I don’t believe everything ewe that he says. Yes I am activ like his door may, but he knows I wil not have it again.
    Maybe he does just feel secure with me? I do the while work cook and house thing. I has the makings of an ideal wife, and he has learnt some family values and I have brought some positivity to his life.
    What do you do? Give him another shot and risk wasting more time? Bare the heartache and move on?
    Please bare in mind he is the only person that really gets me, he knows everything. Favourite food, clothes, hair, taste, all my particulars. Surely this means he really does love me???
    Help?

    • Hello Sistren,
      It sounds like you are making alot of excuses for this man. Feeling good is feeling good, not feeling right is not feeling right. Ask your self the truth about how you are really feeling in this relationship, then decide if this is the path you would like to continue on.
      Much love and respect. Jah bless.

      • Do you want to marry a man with alll these other children? I am not sure if he has 4 or 5 children. If you have a one year old son, you must be quite young. You have to seriously ask yourself if you want a man with children with different mothers all over the place. You will also want a family if you get married. Can he afford to support all of these children. Love is not everything, you have a son to put through school and I hope it is your desire to give him the finest things in life. Unless this man is earning a lot of money, he will not be able to give you a good life.

  32. ive stumbled on this website and cant belive what i read. For the last 8yrs ive been with my jamaican baby father. He is the only man i have loved and wouldnt change him for anything. He has his faults, most men do. yes some men are users some men lie through their teeth some, are not even jamaican! I would’nt tar all jamaican men with the same brush. as long as the list of negatives there is a list of positives. my baby father is the perfect father to my children there are no secret children no secret women. just because we as women feel the need to share every part of our lives with our partners, why should we expect the same, its only honesty if you dont demand wityh ultimatums to know! if your man is secretive and he is hiding a secret life its not because hes jamaican its because he is a dog. If your man wants no part in his kids life its not because hes a jamaican, its because he’s wukless. Yes a good jamaican man is hard to find as is any good man. If they can pick us without disciminating, discredit them because of their faults not their nationality

  33. I like this site…because alot guys do cheat but this jamican guy i meet didn’t know how good american women are…we very good with finding out things like looking on the cell phone when they sleep and call all the numbers and text that right Lol I call them all!!!

  34. I have been with this Jamaican guy back in December. We broke up in March in a manner that I didn’t understand why. Two months later in May, we start talking again. Now, he wants to take things slow. We never had sex when we dated, we never went out either. And now we are reconnecting, its the same thing as before. But the second time around, I have not shown him how he makes me feel and how unhappy I feel. If I do, it will bring no change to anything I tell him that he does to me. I have come to the point to realise that he has other women. I don’t call him regularly, he calls me, I don’t bother him or annoy him. I give him his space. I stick around, maybe he will change. But I’m not gonna stick around. My point it, Jamaican men I don’t think they know how to treat women well. We end up loving them with our all and at the end of the day the don’t love us equally. I just have given up. He says loves me and cares about me, but if he really do he will prove it. Women who are with them I say good luck and bravery with you.

    • Not all Jamaican men are the same, not all women are the same. Each man decides how he will individually treat his woman. A man knows if a woman is considered of high priority or of low priority in his mind. Some Jamaican men like to milk the cow as much as they can. I dont want to be anybodys cow. I love men who love me. No point talking to a man I love who continues to break my heart by not making me his number one priorty. I have experienced exactly what you are talking about, at the end of the day, even as “friends” the stress is just not worth it.
      Respect Sistren, Jah Love.

  35. hi everybody i am a Jamaican guy, i am 19 years old, well what can i say all these Jamaican guyz that do all these things they only make it bad for the good guyz here in Jamaica becuz girls are going to think all of us are the same but we are not, to be honest i try my best to meet a nice American girl that i can spend my entire life with but i always get denied becuz of what their past Jamaican man did to them, take it from me Jamaican guyz find it really hard to keep one girl, becuz their are so many good looking females in Jamaica, but some guyz really do keep one girl but you can hardly find those guyz, the guyz like myself who wants a American girl to be with cant seems to get any, but the once who don’t really want them are always getting them, lets just say we good guyz always finish last, And remember not every Jamaican guyz are the same, and don’t just love a guy for what he have and what he don’t have, love him for who he is not for what he have and what he don’t, becuz most times the guyz that has it all always abuse their relationship, and remember the most important thing is to trust him and be honest, and if you have been trying a long time with a Jamaican man stop and move on sometime you have to give up some things that you love to get something better, i hope this helps who wanted help, bye

  36. I’ve been married to a Jamaican man for 8 years and it’s a shame he still hasn’t learnt how to treat a non-Jamaican woman. Yes they need their space, family is important (their side, not yours) and they like good Jamaican cooking. But the question is – why are they so dishonest, unloyal, disrepectful and bad when managing money. They demand alot but only give one thing in return (thats not enough in the long run).

    • Your comment was honest…
      The real question is, why are you putting up with it?…..certainly you havent been with every Jamaican man….not all Jamaican men are like this. But if thats what he wants to do…and you allow it….why not continue?
      Love and Raspect,
      Ras Tafari Lives and he lives forever.

  37. True, just a matter of time until my cup overflows. I do believe that not all Jamaican men are the same. It’s probably down to his history. Voilence, begging and non-loving upbringing. It’s a shame the cain can’t be broken. Pride over honesty, to hard to admit love and no idea with money

  38. Ladies if you are with a Jamaican man my piece of advice to you is RUN as far away as you can. They will cheat over and over again and deny and blame you for it. I have been dating one for 4 and half years and all i received in return is hell. He robbed me of money, gifts, cars, bills, clothing, and everything else. i lost over 75,000 dollars in 4 years i was with him. RUNNNNNN

    • Hello,

      Are you me? Same story but its hard to run cause he seems he dosen’t want to leave. I tell its over, enough already, kick him out of my home and he still around. I can’t trust him and all he wants to do is gamble everyday and come home next morning. I think why we are together or wont leave cause we have things together and I can’t get out of it until everything is done. What to do cause there is still love for him. But I’m tired of crying!!!

  39. IM 23 AND IM DATING A 27 YEAR OLD FROM BARBADOS AND HE HAS BEEN TRULY AMAZING! FLOWERS FOR NO REASON, CALLS AND TXTS TO SAY HE MISSES ME LOTS OF DATES AND SMALL GIFTS. HE TREATS ME LIKE IM THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON TO HIM. I AGREE THAT THEY DO NEED THERE SPACE WE SEE EACHOHER ABOUT 4 XS A WEEK WHICH IS FINE WITH ME. I ALSO AGREE THAT THEY LOVE CLEANLINESS BUT AS FAR AS COOKING, I AM A AFRICAN AMERICAN AND SOUL FOOD IS MY SPECIALTY WHICH HE LOVES. HE COOKS ALL THE JAMAICAN DISHES WE EAT AND I LOVE THEM. HE IS VERY HONEST AND LET ME KNOW THAT HE MARRIED SOME WOMAN SO THAT HE CAN B LEGAL AND FILED DIVORCE 8MTHS BEFORE HE MET ME. HE HAS NO KIDS BUT HAS GROWN ATTACHED TO HIS ” WIFES’ ” CHILDREN, THEY AREN’T LIVING TOGETHER BUT THIS IS DEFINITELY KEEPING ME FROM ANY TYPE OF COMMITMENT. AM I JUST IN THIS DECISION, EVEN WHEN I SEE THE DIVORCE PAPERS I STILL FEEL LIKE I CANT TRUST HIM BECAUSE HE LET ME KNOW THIS 3 WEEKS INTO US DATING

  40. I’ve been with my childs father for 5 years and we have 3 children together. The last one is an infant. Everything happened so fast. He has kids with other women around the same ages of my kids. I try to stay for love n the kids but the constant cheating n denial just gets to me. He got recently deported and wants me to marry him n I havent had any support from I got pregnant with the last. He had asked me to move in with him on numerous occasions but I declined. I didn’t feel stable n its a good thing because of the deportation. I just feel like I’m damned if I do n damned if I dont. He calls constantly for the kids n sometimes wants to talk to me more than the kids. For instance, he will call @ 11 ,12 dem time de n want to talk about sex or reminisce on our sex life. He is very insulting n cant keep friends for too long. Also he acts very hype n doesn’t really have anything. Currently I’m not working but I have a job coming up n I notice him trying to beg but I shut him down because I have the kids n my situation. Anyhow everytime I try to reason n say lets just get along for the sake of the kids he wants to bring up how he loves n misses me n wants me. Is like I know what to do because the relationship isn’t healthy but I need advice on how to end it on a good note. He probably doesn’t believe me because we went back n forth so much. But my kids love him bad n sometimes I feel guilty because I grew up with my parents. Boy oh boy

    • i think the easiest way to do that is to fall in love with someone else someone that is much better than him in every way possible, and then you will take your time and drift away from him, becuz this other guy treats you better in every way possible, hope this helps

  41. i am dating a jamacan n i found out he is cheating wat do i do hw do i confroont him i have never cheated on him he say he wants to marry me cus am everyting he luks for in a woman buh y is he cheating .. :( i really love him n do wat ever it takes to make him happy and at the same time he praises me for making him feel like my king buh y is he doin this to me …plzz i need ur help

    • hi there i am CJ, i am from jamaica, i think the best to do is leave him, let me tell you most jamaica man love sex, BUT when it comes on to sex they cant just stick to one girls its going to boring to them, he may be right that he loves you and your is all, but no matter what he is going to want to have sex with someone else thats just typical jamaican man not all though, he may not love the other girls but love what they are giving him and thats sex, its mostly about the sex for jamaican men, they may have this one girl that they love and want to spend their life with, and have a couple other girls only for the sex, and to stop him from doing that is going to be really hard, so either you leave him, find a nice christian guy are someone else who wont cheat on you, ARE you can stay with him and be cheated on, until you find another way for him to stop are until he stop off is own, I HOPE THIS HELPS……………

  42. I have been “seeing” a Jamaican guy for about 5 years. It started during a very low period in my life (not making excuses) but truly it did. He was very honest and upfront in the beginning. He is married and to be honest I never really planned on having sex with him. I was just flattered by his advances. He is VERY handsome, charming and educated. Now if anyone would have told me that “I” would be involved with a married man a few years ago, I would have been like “NEVER”! The whole situation is crazy because I have fallen so in love with this man BUT I don’t expect anything from the situation. I know it’s wrong and I’ve tried to stop several times but if I’m honest with myself I really don’t want to. I just love him!! I am an educated person and on a normal day I would never indulge in such scandal but somehow I have been totally memorized by this man. I mean I have NEVER met anyone like him. He knows what to say, he is gentle, caring and attentive, driven, etc. I can go on………he’s just amazing! He’s been pretty honest with me during the duration of our “friendship” so I do trust him. I don’t worry about if he’s seeing “multiple” people because that’s not really my problem. Believe it or not, if given the opportunity, I would NEVER seriously date this man because I now know too much about him. I don’t believe that “all” Jamaican men cheat just like I don’t believe “all” men cheat. I believe people do different things for different reasons. I do know that my “friend” love him family and I do think he cares for me. He has told me that he loves me which took him about 4 years to do so before it was “I am very fond of you” and if thing were different, we could “take this further”. So I think he does care for me deeply and I KNOW I love him but hey it is what it is. My next relationship will DEFINITELY be with a Jamaican! To me, they are just so different from black American men and I like it! He will just be single the next time.

    • Your insight and honesty is refreshing….
      I dont say dating a married man is right, but things do happen in life….
      take it from me my friend, try to separate your self from the “fantasy” of being with this married man….cause thats all it is.
      I am so happy that you have positive things to say about Jamaican men, because there are good things about them too.
      Yes, Jamaican men are very different than black American men….
      Stay true. Much love.
      Thanks for sharing your story.
      Jah Rastafari

      • Thank you…..I figure there’s no point in lying to myself. I do realize that I’m in an unattractive situation and I’m sure my family would be VERY disappointed IF they knew. I agree that nothing is going to come out of the situation. I really am not expecting anything; I believe if something starts off wrong then more than likely it will end up wrong. Additionally, I would NEVER want my friend to leave his family for me (not that he would). I just got caught up! I goggled the topic to find more insight into the whole Jamaican relationship/dating subject because I was/am curious. I don’t have too many friends or know too many people who are knowledgeable on the topic but when I read some of the posts on your page, I won’t lie, they are kind of scary. BUT I know who I am and what I have to offer AND IF my friend would have approached me in some of the ways I’ve read, I would have RAN! Obviously I am far from perfect and my situation is COMPLETELY wrong but I try to be as realistic as possible. You are correct in a sense that maybe I am living some type of fantasy but my fantasy ends when I wake up. I really enjoy my friend’s company and we do what we do, the END. He’s NEVER asked me for money and we buy one another things. We don’t talk every day but we communicate often and we see one another just enough. NOW I have had a brief encounter with a Jamaican who asked for money and became upset when I didn’t send it and almost stop talking to me when he realized I was NEVER going to send him money. Needless to say that friendship went nowhere quickly! I would love to seriously date a Jamaican but the right Jamaican. I CHOOSE to not see anyone but my friend; however, I get approached often. My point is, I am NOT desperate and I am very patient so when the right person comes along I will know. I just have to let this man who is VERY taken go and I will. My mom truly didn’t raise me to do what I’m doing.

        Lastly, I think my friend and I will remain friends long after all the messy stuff is done because we’ve genuinely grown to care for one another. We were talking one day and he asked would I ever want more and I responded “no, why? I knew what you had to offer from jump. The day I want more will be the day I completely move on.” Beside this one flaw that I know of, I believe his wife is very fortunate to have this man (as I’m sure he is the same with her). I’m not blinded by love, he truly is a jewel!
        ANYWAYS, thanks for responding, I LUV, LUV your page!

        Connie

    • Hi Connie,
      I was in a similar situation to yours. I was with a MARRIED jamaican man for a total of nine years. He charmed me and swept me off my feet. I had never met anyone so charming, sexy, and so into me before. Sex was great and so passionate every time. I thought that I was keeping things in perspective as far as playing my role as a mistress but before I realized after some time that my feelings ran deeper than I thought. I too never thought that I would have been in such a scandalous situation and I struggled with that daily. I was committed to him although he wasn’t with me come to find out later he was with several other women too. None the less, He eventually left his wife and we moved in together. I was so enamored by the swagger that Jamaican men often have. Their way with words, their protectiveness of their ‘ mummi’, confident way of walking, dressing, and speaking ect but those very qualities became the source of my nightmarish reality very quickly. I am a west indian woman myself from Trinidad living in nyc (lots of jamaicans here) and I’m no authority on Jamaican men by any means but I can only tell you from my experience that jamaican men are best suited for jamaican women. You are no match for what they are capable of dishing out!! I’m sure of it….some of them dont settle down with jamaican women (there is a reason for that and he will tell you-listen carefully!!) but best believe he will be sleeping with one or more on the side. It is a very tight knit culture and they LOVE being with one another to the exclusion of others. Also, long term flagrant infidelity, random baby mamas is not a big deal AT ALL. Not all jamaican men are like that but my ex and All his friends family and associates were cheating a lot, abusive (in various ways), and unapologetically so. Furthermore, what goes around does come back around was the lesson I learned dearly so consider your actions. I am not judging as I was in a similar situation but if you have an opportunity to get out-get out NOW. Trust me you won’t be thinking about how good the sex is when trouble comes knocking bc it WILL!! Long story short, I ended up having to literally run away from this ‘ charming’ man and go into hiding bc I was tired of his constant abusiveness (physical, sexual, emotional, financial, psychological) which he felt was acceptable behavior that I should have just dealt with. Some Jamaican men (other men too) won’t let you walk away that easily even though he acted like he wouldn’t care if I ever left. Not the case. He found me beat and choked me and put a loaded gun to my head in broad day light because I wouldn’t come back home. I’m sure your situation Is not as grave and dangerous as mine and I’m not trying to scare you but I NEVER imagined that I would be living in fear for my life behind a ‘simple’ affair. Nothing good will come of this situation. Take control while you have the chance…

      • WOW, thank you for sharing! I totally agree that my situation is wrong and I am slowly backing away from the situation in my own way. It is REALLY hard! It is a shameful situation and I am not proud of myself for letting it go for so long. Somehow when I was not paying attention I fell REALLY hard for this man. When I read all the other posts on here I am thinking okay when are his true colors going to really show? I say that because he has NEVER asked me for a dime. Nor have I experience any of the other games some of these other men seem to play. I am not being naïve; he is a good person besides from the cheating. A sexual attraction is what originally bought us together but it doesn’t define our friendship. I do agree with you when you say they are a very close community. I often tease him about that. Although I do believe he cares for me I do not believe that he would serious date me if he was single because I am not Jamaican. He says this is not true but I disagree. So the question of the century is why am I still seeing him??? Hummm, I can honestly say it’s not because of the sex. We have connected on a mental and emotional level which means more to me than sex. BUT I am wrong and I would not want someone doing to me what I am doing to his wife so I really am going to stop seeing him.

  43. i went to jamaica a couple months ago with a guy friend. we met a jamaican guy on the beach selling art. he was the only one in negril that didn’t hassle us. we took day trip to montego bay, stopping along the way to eat real food, not that resort stuff. we paid a small fee for the trip, and ride. the last night we were there, he discovered that me and my friend weren’t together. i had a lil smile for him and we made out on the beach(no sex, but he wanted to, i said no) the last night we were there, and stayed up all night until my flight left early in the morning. we kept in contact for several months. i got a free voucher from the airline, because they messed up our flight on the way home. threw all this talking and “i love you’s”, “you have to come back” i scheduled a trip to come back down. i leave in a week and im having major hesitations in going now. several weeks ago i started getting questions, “can you send me money” at first i said yes and then backed down. then i said i could send him way less than what he asked, he said no, it wouldn’t help that much. then the next day he said i should send that little amount then, he said don’t worry about it. then i said, “you know what, this is weird, im not sending you anything.” we still talk and he wants me to get him some nikes(says he will pay me back) but then got suspended from his hotel job for about 4 weeks, now. i have a feeling if i go down there, i will pay for everything. and just today he asked 3 times when my birthday is, first the month and later when i talked to him, the date. i lied to him about the date of my bday. he could tell i was being distant on the phone tonight. i don’t know what to do, my gut is telling me that i was blinded by the exotic, care free, un stressful week i had, and i feel that since i have been back in the states, reality is back. but he calls me everyday, about 90% of the time on his cell phone minutes. i did get a story back before he asked me for money that his last apartment burned and he lost everything. i don’t know what to believe. i called the airline, i can cancel the ticket and still get the voucher redeemable. any advice?

    • I am so happy you have the heart to be so honest….
      Has your gut ever warned you about something before…? Was it right….?
      dont tell him your birthday…if you havent already…
      Sounds to me like you already know what to do in this situation….
      blessed love, Sistren

      Jah Bless

      • i jus cancelled my trip. i had this weird gut feeling. i just told my ex who is from eritrea(who has lived in the states for about 17 yrs) about everything and he said that he has been worried from day one when i told him i was going back. was even getting friends to intervene to tell me to not go. it was such a relief for him that i was not going. he didn’t want to make it seem like he was telling me what to do, so he didn’t know how to approach me and tell me not to go. i figure it was a free voucher from the airline, im only out a change scheduling fee of $150, which is no problem. better safe than sorry. im so happy that i started reading alot of blogs about this and other women had similar stories. that just sent another red flag. i feel groomed by him. it has left me beating myself up on how naive i coulda been, but him asking for money was a blessing in disguise because that immediately put a wall up for me and then it just kept getting weirder. im so happy this happened before i went down there! jah bless us and guide us everyday. i gave them wrong date on my bday but the correct month. he first asked for the month early in the conversation, then asked for the date. i kept questioning him on why he needed to know out of the blue. i told him the right date in the past, but he said he forgot and just wanted to remember. i had a really bad feeling about that. just weird ya’know. thanks for this forum, it really helped me to seal the cap and definitely read deeper into what was really going on. notice the signs of grooming ladies, it’s just like a pedophile and how they groom young kids. he waited two months before he asked and all the while it was “i love you, i will take care of you when your down here, i want you to be comfortable, to i lost everything in a fire, i lost money on the beach, i got suspended from my job, etc, etc.” and he said he was bushmans brother, if so, why not ask him for money? he is an international reggae star

        • You sound like such a down to earth woman…
          I was wondering this past weekend about what your decision would be….I am glad you cancelled the flight….
          I am hearing alot of stories about women abroad and Jamaican men…
          to be honest I am in one of those situations right now….funny thing is I totally seeked him out….I dont know if I should be sad about that, or laugh….
          I totally understand the feeling groomed thing….Jamaicans are very good at this…and the men have alot of “swag”
          I havent been to Jamaica in years, so I dont know how “tough” it is….
          Thank you for sharing your story and comments…
          Rastafari Lives.

      • and now i need to tell him how im not going to be coming to jamaica anymore, i don’t know how he is going to react, he NEVER raised his voice at me before. but i also don’t want him to conjure up some bs to get me to feel guilty. well at least the plane flight is already cancelled. any suggestions on how i should approach this????

      • yeah this guy seemed so genuine, ppl on the beach seemed 2 know him & respect him. he has had some very wise things/rasta thoughts to teach me. but the more i got to know him, i just feel groomed, & better to go with cautionary gut instinct than regret it later. he also said he wanted to have my baby, could never leave jamaica, has plans for a business, wants me to move there…blah blah, but it feels too fast, all talk & he
        has no money, how you going 2 raise a family and move me down there working with $10 a day(he was straight forward with his salary). i think i gave 2 much info at first too, i trusted him right off the bat & look back & say why? i wouldn’t do that in the states. i think american women just have this fantasy sometimes when they are out of the country, and me already loving island vibes & reggae music, i was clouded by that vision of seeing myself relaxing there with this man. but these ppl struggle down there & i mean struggle & you start to feel bad. but ya’know it doesn’t seem that some of them feel bad taking your hard earned money. im a teacher, you know we don’t make a ton, but stable income, & trust me it is hard earned. i also gave him advice on looking for a better job & he just made excuses on his being so comfortable oh & he has no stress in his life, but yet your house burned, you lost $ on the beach, and now your suspended. i told him, no one ever really lives in this world w/o stress, you may handle it better, but your unrealistic. we disgreed. and again, if bushman is your brother, go to him for help. i really wish i could find out if that is true? can i? lol. i don’t think all jamaican men are like this, but as i read below, get to know them way before you take a leap and that goes for any country you visit. i think jamaica gets a hit because the tourist industry is so big and the country is poor. it is survival mode down there. but i think this can happen anywhere. i am glad i went down with a guy friend. ladies never travel alone is what i learned!

  44. I am dating a jamaican man i am so unsure with him we have only been dating for 3 months but these stories have me scared………… Its like he wants me to believe he want us to get married and him come back to the U.S. To be with me Which sounds lovely but how do i know hes serious i dont want to doubt him cause hes jamaican but how can u trust someone u barely know he never asks me for things he tries to make me close friends with his family and friends everything sounds good we never spent anytime together but he tells me he love me is it possible and by the way we met on facebook and hes trying to convince me to come to jamaica marry him and we will have an awesome life together hes 18 and im 26 he has no children i really have nothing to be suspcious about really but sometimes he seems a little distant for two people trying to get to know one another would i be nagging to expect more communication?????

    • He is alot younger than you…..
      really you didnt ask for my advice…but Im gonna give it to you any way.
      Take your time with this one…..you are both young….spend some time together…dont rush into marriage….
      my rule is…live together for 5 years, then get married if we both want to.
      Rastafari lives.

    • I agree with this girl who replied to you Dreamy! Becareful and take your time. But like most men if you give them everything they want they’ll have you predicted for the next thing they want off you. Learn to say no if you feel you don’t want to do something. You’ll get more respect. If they can’t take no for an answer and walk away they were never really worth it or yours to begin with! Make them earn your love ;) Keep things short and sweet, men don’t like to be nagged and be told why and how and a big long story to go with it! Keep them guessing until they understand no one take you for granted!

  45. I have dated a jamaican man and like previous post my advice would be RUN and RUN AWAY FAST !!…These individuals for the most part is out for themselves and will do whats necessary to accomplish the goal. What is the goal ?..From my personal experience..its taking care of the
    “wife” thats in Jamaica, the numerous children they have with the wife and other children by other women and I mean lots of WOMEN. So, they prey upon women that they feel will ultimately provide some kind of service for them..What kind of Service?..usually thats taking care of them in whatever means, financially , sexually, etc etc. I did have the opportunity to visit Jamaica with this man and I learned his mother had open relationships with numerous men and had lots of children..his father had numerous open relationships with numerous children ….the cycle goes on and on and on which they feel is acceptable..and I feel is dysfunctional.

  46. wow read all the comments well recently i got involved jamaican man im 25 his 37 his married with kids i jus cant let go cause the sex is so damn good he just has me mesmerized but i sometimes feel bad for the wife cause she has no clue

  47. I have been to Jamaica many times and dated a Jamaican man who live in Jamaica for 2 years but he would never make the commitment to come to the USA. I recently visited Jamaica for vacation and met this younger guy who seems to be very sweet. In contrast to the previous man this one is ready to apply for the visitors Visa to come out and visit. This is my problem, I know that the average Jamaica makes very little money and they just get by on bills and expenses. My issue is the last man I dated started asking for money for his mom’s glasses or his electric bill right away. I bought groceries the first time I went to his home because there was a hurricane coming and I was meeting the family for the first time and wanted to contribute to say thank you for taking me in. After that it seems that it was expected and there was no end to them asking for money. Finally I just said no more because I have my own family to support and wanted to see if he would still want to date. He did say he understood and for a long time he did not ask for money. After my last visit he said he would come out and I could apply for the Visa then asked for money to go to a soccer match after I returned to the states. I said no because we needed to save money to get him out here. Soon after he changed his mind about coming and wanted to stay together but I broke it off because the cost of visiting and calling was so much and he still seemed afraid to come. He said asking for the money for the soccer match was a test.

    Now I meet this new guy and told him right off that Jamaican’s seem to think American’s have so much money and want them to pay for everything when they visit. I said I will not be doing that and I will not work harder than him to make arrangements for him to come visit if he decides he wants to. This Guy is different because he has his own car, he drives, lives in an apartment in town, he is active and works as a scuba dive instructor at one of the resorts. We have more in common and I would like to know him more. After I returned home he was asking when I would come visit again and I asked about him coming out. He said okay he will go down this week and get started on the Visa. The thing is last night we talked and he says will need $1500 in the bank to show the immigration so they think he is less of a flight risk and will return to Jamaica. I have looked into this in the past and talked to many JA women and men. This is something I have heard. I read last night that he can show strong evidence that an interested party has the funds to support him while he visits instead. I want to trust this guy and I understand on their salary saving money is difficult especially that amount of money. On the other hand I do not want to be a fool and be taken for my money. I do not think he is like that but JA men are charming and skilled with women. I really want a chance to know him. He is 10 years younger, has never been married and I am not sure why he would be interested in an middle aged USA girl with all the beautiful women in JA. It makes me afraid that I will be foolish to bring him here and will get into another situation where I am supplying all the money and he will end up not really caring about me but just getting what he can from me. I want to give this a chance but I am afraid. I do not know what to do.

    • I can sense you are a good persom…
      dont give him the money…see if he is still interested in you…
      thats my advice….
      If he is really interesyed in you he will make every effort to make things work out between you…
      If you want you can also tell him if he comes up with 3 quarters you will put in the rest….
      I dont know if that suits you because you want him to come to the US as soon as possible I am assuming…
      those are my ideas…..
      Much love and Respect

      Jah Bless.

    • i feel you on the money thing. the guy i was talking to said the same thing about having an investment in jamaica before he could get a visa to come to the US and visit me or they take them as a flight risk. if he has a good job, apartment and car, i would think the $1500 wouldn’t be that hard for him to come up with in a couple months time. the guy i was talking to only sold art on the beach and when the tourist industry is slow in the summer months he makes no money. maybe it is that way for the scuba trade in the summer months. i do sympathize with you on being the “american woman with money”. i have to realize that no man can stand on his own if he has to ask for money from anyone. and is he really ready to be in a relationship if he can’t provide for himself. men need to feel they can provide for themselves and for their lover/family for them to be faithful and wholeheartedly in the relationship. start to investigate your time you spent together already. notice any things that seem off. once i did, i cut off all communication with the guy, realizing he was probably just out for the monetary support first and foremost, and then had some sentimental feelings for me, but the first took precedence. and that is no way to start a relationship. i haven’t talked to him in a week, not responded to his calls. they are tapering off, but at first he was calling me 20/25 times a day. then i realized, he never once left a message. after 3 days of calling me so many times, wouldn’t you think he would leave a message and make sure i was ok, nothing bad happened to me? no, my realization from that is: he is concerned with the money and himself foremost. that ended being my test for him!

  48. I am an non-jam woman and been dating a Ja man for almost 2 years. It’s so hard and I hope somebody can help.Why does this man keep everything hidden inside? Why does he find it so hard to show affection? I wonder if growing up in Ja makes it hard for a man to show love… appreciation…etc. I was raised in US and this is my first time with Ja man. Cna somebody give me some insight?

  49. Hey Ladies, I am an American born Black Woman, And I have experienced MANY Jamaican men and the most current is just like all the rest, Wonderful!!!!!!! Stay positive Ladies…

  50. To sum it up, MOST Jamaican men are cunning, expert liars, manipulative, over-sexed, explosive, demanding, chronic cheaters, controlling, possessive, disrespectful, entitled, and ignorant (cannot be reasoned with), and have no clue or interest in what it means to be in a healthy relationship!!!

    And usuallythis is all wrapped up in an Extremely sexy, charming, and appealing package!! Do not be FOOLED!!!

    Unless you are a Jamaican woman yourself, you MIGHT be able to manage them. But if you are NOT…….RUN LIKE HELL!!!!

  51. wow i ben dating a jamaican man for about 8 months now n i really cnt say a bad word about him. its crazy reading all the other experiences women had w jamaican men. i jus hope he does turn out lik the rest. ima take all tha cooking advice asap!!

    • I hate my Jamaican man. We have been in this on again off again relationship for the past two ears and for the most part its been off. When I first got with him he had a girlfriend so I was not interested in becomming sexual with him. However that soon changed after he “broke up” with her. Needless to say he had lied to me and ended up touring Africa with her the next month. Everytime I call it off, he pops back up promising things will get better. Anything I ask for is mine and he recently he started giving me oral which is something he vowed he would NEVER do. I thought things were on the right track until I got pregnant and he begged me to abort. He said it was not the right time and that the next one we would keep. WTF! I can’t take much more. He is constantly on the go and sporadic with his appearances. He wants me when he wants me and thats that. I decided to go back to Americans

    • I married my Jamaican husband in April, and just found out he cheated on me in June. I was there the whole month of May and just got back (when i found out) a week ago. Confirmed with the woman (who was Jamaican) that it happened, and he said to her he was married and it all went down anyway as they say in history. We had plans (paperwork in with US immigration etc) family involved etc etc. You cyant tell mi nuttin, they are all the same or at least the MAJORITY. From country or city don’t matta. Him say he didnt think I would find out, HA! And that it didn’t mean a ting! LOL! I can laugh and cry all at the same time. SOON COME divorce papers.

      We have been together for 9 months, and I have visited every month. Him say my P was jus for him, but I guess his P was for whomever

      I now replay Delilah many times a day

      • I am really sorry to hear that. Long distance relationships are hard enough as it is let alone having to worry about cheating….I dont know what to say….its almost like….you should just expect it Jamaican men…
        I am replying because your story tugged at my heart…maybe its best that American women stick to their own huh?…There seems to be alot of complication with Jamaican men….but I know I just know there are the ones that are raised right and can say “no” to another womans “underneath.” Like I said to someone else…best to test him and see if he would do it or not before we start making any big plans…When I say test…I mean find the prettiest girl, (pay her if you have ) and let her hit on him (make it seem natural of course, just his type and all) then perhaps you will know what he is like. I hope you feel better soon Delilah
        Jah Guidance.

  52. I am 21 years old, live in the U.S and my Jamaican man is the same age. We just recently had a son and he is so proud to be a father!! Every where he goes he shows his friends and family pictures of our son and brags about him lol. August 8th will make our two year anniversary.. I am sooo in love with this man, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Before i met him i was promiscuous and never tried to let “casual sex” turn into a relationship, for i feared of getting hurt..but deep down i really wanted someone to love me. To my surprise i found just that in summer of 09′ when i went to jamaica for the very 1st time with my close friend who is also a jamaican.. I didnt exactly meet my boyfriend in jamaica, but we talked over the phone for a month before i went there(my close friend hooked us up..her husband and my boyfriend are bestfriends)..and i had never seen a picture of him before we met for the 1st time!! so i just prayed that he was good lookin like my friend said cause he sounded soooo sexy over the phone with his thick accent and rough voice…wen i saw him at the airport awaiting me has was even sexier than what i had imagined in my mind! tall muscular athletic build (he plays football and cricket) and dark chocolate skinned with beautiful features…it was like a dream!! we had sex that same day and he blew me away with it….he caressed and kissed all over my body, blew and licked my ears as if making love to me..i was so shocked! i asked him if he still wanted me seeing that we had sex after meeting for the 1st time..and he told me he love me which i didnt believe (i told him this)…but to make a long story short..i have been to Jamaica several times since then to see my love and he is really something else!!(every time i go there he pays for everything and makes sure that im fine..cooks cleans, everything!!!)…i say this because he is NOT what i have heard of a typical Jamaican man.He has NEVER asked me for money,clothing, shoes..or anything of that nature!! And he is the one who CALLS me.. Even my own mother warned me when she found out i waqs in a relationship with him to be “careful” because they often have “other families” and “lie” lol. but not my man..we talk about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.. I’ve even seen him cry before (which he still denies to this day lol) but our line of communication is very open which is KEY in any relationship, regardless of race!! and also he is very religious (not a saint) and makes sure that i keep a close relationship with God as well..also i have a very tight-knit bond with his family..i am the FIRST girl whom he’s dated to ever have the privilege of meeting his family…they love me soo much and our son..and i love them as well,very down to earth people. My man has never wronged me, and when we 1st met, he did have this girl calling him all the time, but he let me answer the phone and i askd he who she was and she said a “friend” n i said really? n she hung up..but my man and i werent actually in a relationship then,we had just met, so that doesnt matter to me. by the time i went back to JA the following year all of that had stopped as we were an official couple now..he is so proud of me, and he took me all over his parish to meet his family and introduced me as his wife..he is now finished with school and is doing his work experience(internship as Americans would say..I’m from the caribbean as well btw but not Jamaica!!) so that he can hopefully find a job quickly when we get married and he comes over here to live with our son and I…i love him soooo much!! i can say that i believe i was lucky to have found such a good and committed Jamaican man!! but ladies do not give up hope!! there are a few of them left, but they are out there!!

  53. ITS THIS ACCENT……THAT TANGLED TONGUE….FU JAMICAN MEN I ONLY DATED ONE…..SEX OKA,,,AMERICAN MEM BETTER! IT WAS THE LENGTH N WIDTH THAT GOT ME! SNAP CRAKER AND POP! ITS OVER!

  54. After reading several post i realize no relationship is perfect, there are cultural differences,and how each person views the relationship has a lot to do with it. my mother has passed away 13yrs ago, she used to say you gotta make a man respect you, or he will run all over you. i guess she meant to take it slow let him know he’s dealing with areal woman,let him know what you will not tolerate, put up with, time will reveal his true self, intentions,also i am still learning it is not what a man say’s but what he does that gives credit to who he is , it is not what he promises but what he delivers, just because a man is jamacian,or rasta doen’t mean he’s perfect sometimes we decieve our selves in stead we should sit back take it so slow, and see what type of person the man we desire to be with truly is remember jah is perfected in us,and all takes time let’s not rush to get our hearts crushed, instead sit back, think before starting a new relationship what are the qualities we seek in a boyfriend ,or husband,keep an open mind, if there are too many none qualities your seeking, he’s displaying we may need to move on. ONE LOVE,AND JAH BLESS!

    • I love dat, cant say nothing else bcuz u said it all…. OMG motha passed six years ago an she preached, make a man respect u.. This ismy first time eva dating a Jamaican N IT TRULY NEW. but I will alwayz give it a try and respect ur beliefs BUT bottom line dont DISRESPECT ME

  55. wow this is very interesting . Cant believe all the bad comments I’m reading about Jamaican men. I’m just wondering are all Jamaican men like that , because I’m sure there are a few good ones even if its only like 1 or two out of the whole population. And I’m pretty sure the good ones treats their mom with love and respect and wont want their sister or mom being hurt.

    • I agree that they are out there”but are difficult to find” I believe that all men are looking for a mother figure. A strong woman that will not take any drama, and keeps her man on point. Its the woman that make a real man.

  56. I meant and married my Jamaican man 10 years ago. He was much younger than me, but this wasn’t strange as his mother was 13 years older than his father. He came from a beautiful family. The family always treated me well and I still love them to this day. My problem with my husband was after 5 years of marriage he became increasingly jealous, possessive and abusive. He was from Indian decent, which I do not think is much a difference. In the end, when I tried ending the relationship, he tried attempted murder on me. He is currently in prison serving his sentence. Bear in mind I never cheated on him, loved him endlessly but we did constantly fight and I would never let him beat me up. He would hit me and I would hit back. But needless to say he still says he will always love me and he wants me back and does not want another wife that I will always be his wife. I do not blame his homicidal tendencies on his culture, however, I do know alot of Jamaican men to be very possessive of their women.

    • Wow, thanks for sharing. I guess there isnt much to say since he tried to kill you. Not good. You sound like a down to earth woman, and you deserve to be treated like a Queen.
      Much luck, and love in the Future.
      Jah Bless.

  57. So I just returned from an amazing 10 day stay in Jamaica, and sure enough, I met someone and fell for everything about him…the way he looked, the way he danced, the way he talked to me and the attention he showed me. Since I have returned back to the states, he calls numerous times a day, even when he’s out at the club, tells me he loves me, misses me and talks about us “making babies” together and making me his wife one day. I am actually supposed to go back the end of this month for 5 days to stay with him. However after reading all of these posts, I am a little skeptical about continuing this relationship, because so many of the things he tells me and talks about are similar if not identical to what I have been reading. He lied about his age, until the day before I left, when he told me he was 21 ( I am 30). He also informed me he had a girl in Canada, which he met two months prior to meeting me, but he stated they were having problems and he liked me more than her. He did go out of his way to visit my hotel where I was staying and to see me as much as possible. He showed me plenty of affection and attention, and made me #1 at all times. However Im beginning to wonder if this is all part of the scheme. I have been warned by others as well about jamaican men doing all these things and making a woman feel special and like a queen, only with alterior motives such as money, material things, a way to the states, etc. I have already been put on a guilt trip for rent money, because supposedly he lost his job working at the resort where he was employed. I was also told that his home was broken into last month, and most of his clothes were stolen, as well as his TV and DVD player. Of course, me being the person I am, felt bad and bought him a few things which I plan to bring with me when I return. I also have to pay to top up his Digicel credits in order for him to call me. I have been keeping track of the minutes to make sure he is not using them to call other girls, etc. and so far everything is ok with that. But I am scared that I am really going to fall in love with him, give him my all, just to find out I am one of many, or for him to come here and cheat or leave me for someone else. I just feel like everything happened too fast and I dont know what to believe. But at the same time, I have never felt like this about another man. I almiost feel like he put some crazy love spell on me. I do not want to be taken for a fool, but I also dont want to judge him based on the reputations of Jamaican men. Any advice would be much appreciated.

    • Kat…there is so much I want to say. I say if it feels good and its ok with your pocket book, then do it. If it hurts you emotionally or financially dont do it. Based on what I just read you dont seem to be in any distress over the situation. Take your time…and get to know him….at any time if things dont feel right, you always have the right to change your mind.

  58. Hello I’m Karri. I’m not jamaican but my husband is. We are both 24. I love this man more than i have ever loved any man in my whole life. I met him on facebook to be totally honest. He saw my profile on a mutual friend’s friend list and he messaged me. He was so respectful and sweet. Complimented me but didn’t sound thirsty. Usually i do not bother responding to such messages but for some reason i felt drawn to him. I had several conversations with him on facebook and we seemed to have similar interest and sounded like we had similar goals and were looking for the same thing relationship wise. We exchanged numbers. Our first phone call conversation lasted 4 hours. He made me laugh, cry, smile, blush. I felt his sincerity and heart through a phone conversation. after several phone conversations we met in person and i had the time of my life. We have been together for quite some time now. Every time i speak to him even though we live together and have been together for a long time i still learn something new from him everyday. he is a very smart man. very loving loyal protective and secure about himself. he is a very attractive jamaican man so everytime he goes out into public places females try to talk to him and he is polite to them but off tops lets them know he is married and he is not interested. I do not know about all jamaican men but i know i found a jamaican man who is not perfect but he is perfect for me. I have never felt so much love from anyone not even my own parents in my whole life. I’m enjoying learning about his culture and eating jamaican food. this man is my soul mate. when i met him i had no idea he was jamaican but i’m happy proud and amazed of and with the man i’m married to. and the jamaican accent is beyond sexy. i love when he speaks his native tongue I’m learning that as well. :) thank you for allowing me to comment. and to those who have a jamaican man they are not happy with THERE ARE GOOD ONES OUT THERE. GOOD LOYAL FAITHFUL LOVING CARING CONSIDERATE RESPECTFUL RESPECTABLE AUTHENTIC JAMAICAN MEN IN THIS WORLD. I KNOW THIS FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE :)

  59. Well, my experience with my Jamaican boyfriend was HORRIBLE!!!! I met him while on vacation and while going through a divorce (I know). And he said all the “right” things to me. He was so persistent, he called everyday all day and we would talk for hours. He never asked me for anything and always told me he cared for me and wanted to get to know me better. Looking back now, I see the red flags….girls calling his phone and when I pick up telling me they are his “cousin” or “friend.” Realizing most of his friends that he introduced me to, also HAPPENED to be dating a “foreign” girl. Anyways for years I flew back and forth and spent money on phone calls and trips, then I got preggo with my baby and during the pregnancy this man cheats on me with a “babymother” I didn’t even know he had. He and his family had always assured me he was childless…..Anyways long story short, he abandoned me and my child to go be with this babymother whose voice I had recognized as being one of the “cousins” that called his phone during one of my trips. Till this day, this man continues to lie and gives me a very difficult time in caring for our child. However I hear his babymother wasn’t getting any help either??? Crazy!!! I now regret ever meeting him because I feel betrayed, manipulated, and cheated. He made me believe we were having our first child together and that he had intentions of being a devoted husband and father and it was all lies. The silver lining to this story is I still win, I have my beautiful child and what does he have….what he started with…nothing:)

    • iam dating a ja man now love him he treats me good its been a year love him much at first when i visit i will stay at hotel which was fine but since not in a realationship lthought i wanted to meet family oh yeah i nice family but i got one promblem he put the baby mama out 4 days before i got there i just dont no help please

      • Its hard to tell because I dont know all aspects of the situation. All I can say is, he obviously likes having her around. You must remember Jamaican men are somewhat fascinated with foreign women if thats what you are. I dont have enough information.
        Love, Blessings.

  60. What a crock of shit. I swear jamaicans talk a great game but they are from from what they speak. They lie, cheat, and degrade for control. I’m not even sure if they’re capable of honest love. To be with a jamaican its all about control. Most americans try to take a dominant role in a relationship for control…jamaicans on the other hand tear down or try to ruin your esteem all in hopes that you depend on them and only them. It’s a sick vicious cycle and one that I never see have a happy ending. If your dating a caribbean break up. And if your thinking about dating one…run!

    • I do understand your perspective, however there does exist women involved in loving monogamous relationships with Jamaican men. I dont like anybody to paint me with the same brush, as other “Rasta” other “black women” other “Jamaicans” etc. so I try not to do the same to others.
      Raspect and Love,
      Rastafari.

    • That should be helpful…but 90 percent of the reason is they have a very weak family social circle traditionally where the women are treated as second class citizens much like in other 3rd world cultures. They like to spread seed while the mother is left to take care of them with little to no affection once the baby is born. This affects the children which the mothers fustration and hopeful expectations fall short. This is a cycle thats been spanning for generations. I dare anyone to take a 360 degree look at a caribbean family and you’ll see at least two cases

  61. I have alot of Jamaican men ive addef on Facebook and i swear that if u r pretty they will say i love you quick, then the ask for money,minutes on their phone, or shoe clothes western union, the list goes on. Yea and i wana marry you and have a baby, and need a visa, all this is the same bs everytime, they r all trained from their uncles to begg for money from us they think americans r so rich. And yes they r so persistent,liars and big sneaky cheaters. Flee from me u enemy!!!!

    • I am so sorry but I must agree since I have experienced something similar, and I keep hearing the same story over and over again. Jamaican men telling foreign women they love them, then beating them, or lying to them, or having other women on the side. I know there are some great Jamaican men out there. But for a foreign woman who meets her man in Jamaica…? She has to be extra careful….
      Love and Blessings.

  62. I have been dating a Rastaman for about one year and half. It has changed mi life forever. Holding a positive out look is key. I have been to JA 6 times this year. I love it..
    Do you have any advice about the VISA. I have been looking at K1 or k3 also he is musician so the P1 p3
    We intend to marry and want to be together but waiting one year to start our lives together is painful. Do you have any advice for mi.
    Thanks for your time

  63. I dated a Jamaican man and I KNEW from the first day he was trouble!!! I will say this He was perfect in every way…cooked, cleaned, caring, attentive, loving and the sex was….phenomenal!!! However I KNEW he was not husband material… Jamaicans are very good at creating exotic fantasies for the women they persue! Our fantasy lasted a mere 4 months and believe me it was too short for me, however had it lasted any longer I would have been obsessed with this man, I had already started to confuse lust with love! Thank god things fell apart! We still text from time to time, to reminisce and I miss him every day (she below misses him more) but I’m happy to have gotten out without a broken heart. Every time I think of him I smile and I rather that than have regrets or hurt! I’ll find the right man for me one day or he’ll find me…in the mean time I wouldn’t mind bumping into another Jamaican like the previous one just as long as we end it before any damage!

  64. I love this site so honest…anyway I am involved with a jamaican man who lied and told me he was seperated. I am afro american and I learned not to fall in love cuz he lied so I just use him for money and sex…the key is to with hold your heart and your feelings just a little cuz the jamaican man has ulterior motives…my thing is play them for they play you

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