First I want to start off by saying not all black women are the same. Just like not all black men are the same ok. So don’t tell me that not all black women are the same, I already know that.
What I am about to share with you makes my stomach feel sick. I think I feel this way because of the amount of truth and honesty I invested in the “friendship” thinking I could “help” or change this person.
I cannot speak of the exact situation for privacy sake…lets say I recently had the opportunity to get very close and personal with some black women. Some “stayed” longer, and some “left” early.
Something Wrong with her…?
In this “situation” there was one Jamaican black woman, I think she is in her 4os. She was constantly berating people when higher-ups weren’t looking and saying inappropriate things, and threatening people. (My stomach just felt sick again when I thought of the next black woman I will tell you about) So this woman, I actually met her before and she was acting the exact same way, no change. We were not friends, and we are still not friends. Anyway. I was told some time ago that this lady got her self into some trouble. Anyway I recently heard her say from her own mouth…”I am being charged with Criminal harassment.”
After that statement some time passed by, we had a situation in our “situation” that made her angry….low and behold…I witnessed her harass an older lady from Guyana. She was threatening her with physical harm, as she harassed her right out the door. I couldn’t believe it!!! So I thought well not everybody is like this its just her…..
- Maybe her parents treated her like that
- Maybe she doesn’t believe in God and believes she has to control everything
- Maybe she ….
My Dream about Black Women’s feelings & Experience.
Before I forget (this is what I call blogging raw by the way) I had a dream, after asking myself why she was behaving like this, and the other woman I will soon tell you about. My dream (I feel teary about this) basically showed me that some black women carry so much pain, which turns to anger, from so many things (racism, culturalism, rejection, not feeling beautiful, having to prove ourselves, disrespected by black men, treated as sex objects, treated as stupid etc.) that we often berate, verbally abuse, fist fight, reject, bring down, other black women, as a way of releasing some of that emotional pain which has turned to anger, which has resulted in self-hatred.
Again I am aware that not all black women are the same. I know. But when I thought about it….I believe this does ring true for some. I have seen it in my own life…and this answer makes a lot of sense. I am a black woman too. I feel the pain and have the experience too. Dont get me wrong, I love my self, and if I had life to do over again, I would say “Jah, make me a Jamaican black woman again.” That is how much I am grateful to live life from this perspective. I just think trying to live in a society that does not promote your beauty, your culture, your talents etc. Is not easy. I think my life would be different if I were in an all black society. Hence my desire to live in Jamaica.
Read next “I met a woman from St. Vincent”